Like so many others, I am reeling over the sad, sudden passing of actor Matthew Perry on October 28th. As my husband said yesterday, watching Friends will never feel the same. I agree. When I read Matthew’s memoir a few months ago, Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing, I learned a lot about this funny, talented man. It may be too soon for some, but I do encourage anyone and everyone to read it. Beyond his legacy of laughter, Matthew Perry battled some huge mental and physical challenges.
You can read my review HERE. Matthew wanted to be remembered for so much more than Friends. Reading his book is a good place to start.
Once upon a time there was a little boy named Barry. He came from a musical family. His parents met while working with Nat King Cole. He had two older sisters. And when he born with a unique birthmark on his left wrist his mother announced that, one day, Barry would be doing something special with that hand.
Fast forward to the major leagues. After years of training, practice, and mental preparation, Barry Zito was pitching for the Oakland A’s, and he had developed one of the most devastating curveballs in baseball history. When he was traded to the San Francisco Giants, his new contract broke records. But with that came new expectations from his team, his fans, and himself. There was no place to go but down.
I won’t bore you with the weird way I discovered this book, but I will reiterate that the right books always find us at the right time. I’d never heard of Barry Zito, I don’t follow baseball, and he retired from the sport years ago. None of those things mattered when I read (and listened) to his memoir, because this is not a book about baseball. It is a book about one man’s personal and spiritual journey, and I found it fascinating.
Yes, it is easy to say that life for Barry Zito has been cushioned by that enormous contract, and it probably has. There’s a lot to be said for financial stability. But, like all of us, this is a man who sought fulfillment, and that is something that can only be found elsewhere.
I recommend Curveball most highly. It’s available on Libby. Read it, listen to it (narrated by Zito himself,) and ponder the messages of growth and humility by this man who had to do a lot of things wrong before figuring out what really matters.
Disabled? No. Diff-abled? Yes. This is how David Aguilar sees himself. But his positive outlook has only happened after years of bullying, determination, and persistence.
David, of Andorra, Spain, was born with Poland’s Syndrome, a rare condition that left him with an underdeveloped right arm. His “bracito”–as he and his family have named it–might be small, but it has presented its share of challenges and shaped their lives in ways they never expected.
But first, let’s take a look at the book’s cover. That’s not Tony Stark. It’s David, with the fifth prosthetic arm he designed. Does he need it? No. But society responds to symmetry, and it was that pressure–plus his innate talent–that led David to create the world’s first prosthetic arm built entirely of LEGOs. Yes, you read that correctly. LEGOs.
Piece by Piece is David’s story from birth to the present. We learn of the obstacles he faced, he incredibly supportive family, and where he is now. A charming, witty, sensitive young man, you will root for David all the way. This was a great read!
Available on Kindle Unlimited.
9/10 Stars
Learn more about David here: (Email subscribers, hop on over to the blog to see the videos!)
Yesterday I finished the touching memoir Without the Mask, by Charlie Bird. If you’re looking for a heartfelt book of a young person’s struggle with same-sex attraction, I highly recommend this one.
Charlie Bird was born in 1993, the year before I graduated Brigham Young University. Twenty five years later (yikes, my age is showing) he catapulted (literally) to the forefront as the beloved dancing, tumbling BYU mascot, Cosmo the Cougar. In 2017, Charlie’s Cosmo danced with the acclaimed Cougarettes for the first time and a video of their performance went viral. Instantly, Cosmo became the most famous university mascot in America.
But under the enthusiastic leaps and iconic costume, Charlie was grappling with the knowledge that he was gay in a very religious, conservative family and culture. His truth and his faith were at war. Encouraged by Sheri Dew, president of Deseret Book, Charlie decided to write an article, then this book, describing his journey.
His writing is beautiful as he describes his devotion to a faith that has shaped his life and feelings that contradict what he was taught in that faith. Never a victim and very clear that he doesn’t want to be a poster child for the “gay Mormon,” he writes of how he identifies himself, coming to the realization that his faith and his feelings can coexist.
Many will disagree with his approach and his decision to stay with a church that is working harder to show compassion to their LGBTQ+ members but does not condone gay marriage, but this is his story and no one else’s. I think there are many Christian families who will find Without the Mask to be a helpful stepping stone to discussion and understanding. I came away feeling great admiration for Charlie’s courage, testimony, and strength of character. It was a superb read.
9/10 Stars
Charlie talks about his book and coming out:
Watch Charlie as Cosmo the Cougar and the Cougarettes in their famous video:
It’s so satisfying when a popular book lives up to the hype because then it isn’t hype anymore, it’s a consensus. Such is the case with Beyond the Wand by Tom Felton, an absolute delight to read! You may know Tom better as the evil Draco Malfoy of the Harry Potter film franchise, representing bullies everywhere with that classic combination of arrogance and cowardice.
Happily, the man behind the bleached hair (yes, man, he’s 35 now,) is much more down-to-earth than his sinister alter ego. But it came at a price, as is the age-old story of many child stars. The youngest of four boys in a loving family, Tom started acting early in life. But it wasn’t until the Harry Potter films when he became recognizable, a fame that steadily increased with the popularity of the books and movies. A heady thing for a young man trying to figure out who he is off the movie set, and one he still has to navigate with caution.
There are some drastic ups and downs, but the majority of the book is ideally paced for the modern attention span. Many celebrity memoirs are filled with superfluous, uninteresting details. This one is not. Tom Felton gives the people what they want, which is a behind-the-scenes look at what it was like to grow up among a core cast of actors, many of whom are British screen royalty. The chapters are anecdotal, insightful, interesting, and fun. There are Potter plot spoilers, however, so you might want to be familiar with the series before reading.
My favorite parts are when he writes about antics on set and what it was like to work with so many heavyweights like Dame Maggie Smith, Alan Rickman, Robbie Coltrane, Jason Isaacs, Sir Richard Harris, and Sir Michael Gambon. His gratitude towards these respected actors is genuine and palpable, as is his love for his acting peers, the other young people who bore the enormous responsibility of breathing life into characters beloved throughout the world.
I cannot say enough good things about Beyond the Wand. If you love the Potter film series, this memoir is better than any special features you’ll see on a DVD. It’s a fast read that shows the growth of a young man striving for normality in a very abnormal world. I highly recommend it.
This week I’m participating in an online nonfiction read-a-thon, so I will be getting out of my comfort zone a bit. Not that I don’t like nonfiction, but I’ve enjoyed creatively told stories a lot lately.
Which brings me to two books that I read today. Both address differences–dealing with them, owning them, and embracing them.
Visual Thinking, by Temple Grandin, has been on my radar for quite a while. Temple Grandin is a fascinating woman with a unique story. Born with Autism, she has used her differences in the way she absorbs and processes information to become a pioneer in animal behavior. Her work is mainly with the meat industry, making sure that animals raised for slaughter are humanely treated. Because she is a visual thinker, which she explains in the book, she notices details that others might miss.
The part that I thought was most profound is the way she describes the “screening out” of visual thinkers in the American education system. Thanks to different government movements in the name of “progress,” teachers are now forced to teach in such a linear way that students with diverse learning can easily get left behind. Speaking as a former teacher, I wholeheartedly agree. However, the book itself was a cumbersome read. There is a lot of repetition and spiraling in the way information is presented. It is broken up into chapters, but their content doesn’t seem as individual as you’d expect. Instead, it is more of the same over and over again. For that reason I can only give it a lukewarm 8/10 Stars.
Ugly, by Robert Hoge. The youngest of five children, Robert was born in Australia in 1972. The reasons are still unclear, but he came into this world with a large tumor above his nose and misshapen legs and feet. The tumor pushed his eyes far to each side, like a fish, making depth perception and balance difficult. His crooked legs and feet made walking impossible. Intellectually, though, Robert was born a bright and inquisitive child.
This memoir is marketed to readers of all ages and, because this world and the media are so unforgiving of people who look different, Ugly is an important book. After dozens of surgeries on his face, amputations of both feet, and adjusting to prosthetic legs, Robert lives a fairly “normal” life. His journey, one with pain and humor, is an inspiring one. His unusual appearance is the first thing you notice about him, but his attitude and sensitive nature are what you remember. This is a wonderfully well-written autobiography that I highly recommend. 9/10 Stars
***Both Temple Grandin and Robert Hoge are popular speakers on the TED Talk circuit and in other public speaking settings. You can easily find them on YouTube to hear more about their lives and experiences.
OK! The new year is upon us! Time for some wrap ups, favorites, and recommendations for the new year!
Let’s start off with the books I read in December. It was fun to read winter and holiday-themed books. I’ve never done that before. But I’m open to anything that gets me out of my comfort zone a bit. It seems like that is when I discover authors who become favorites. Melanie Jacobson and Jane Porter were two great author discoveries in December. Jennifer Peel and Becky Monson continued their streak of fun books. Denise Hunter is quickly rising to the top of my list of authors whose works I want to revisit. And Brigid Kemmerer…I could read her books over and over again. They are that good. Ratings are based on the Goodreads 5-Star rating system.
Next, I’m posting my 2022 favorites by month. This was a tough one! There were many months when I read several that stayed with me. In the end, though, I thought about which ones really got under my skin. They are the ones I find myself constantly recommending. They made me laugh or cry. They opened up a whole new arena of thought. They are, in my opinion, extra special. These are the final 12. The Ogress and the Orphans is middle grade (ages 8-12.) What I Carry, Letters to the Lost, and Call It What You Want are considered Young Adult. (16+)
Lastly, I’m posting fifteen recommendations. I’ve seen lots of people in my online book groups asking for book recommendations for the new year. Believe me, I have MANY more than just fifteen that are worth suggesting, but in the interest of time, space, and not picking the same ones as everyone else, here they are. All of them are stand-alones (not part of a series.) All of them are fiction or historical fiction with the exception of Deaf Utopia, which everyone should read. Everyone.
I hope to post some more favorites by topic and genre in the near future. I’ve discovered some incredible books and amazingly talented authors in 2022, many of whom I’ve had the honor of communicating with through different means. One who even recruited me to join his beta reading team. (More on that in the future.) 😉
As always, these are my recommendations based on my taste, experience, filters, and tolerances. Be sure to do your own research about adult scenes, language, and age-appropriate content.
It’s 1995, FRIENDS has been on the air for a year. (As soon as I saw a promo for it in 1994, I knew I wanted to watch this series. And I did–every episode of every season for ten seasons. I still kick myself that I never attended a taping.) Now I’m at Disneyland with my mom, aunt, and cousin, Laura. My aunt had recently been hired at Disney Imagineering and was able to get us into the park for free. It was a blast.
Halfway through the day we’re in New Orleans Square (my favorite section) and Laura says to me, “Hey, isn’t that Matthew Perry?” Yes, it was. Celebrity sightings–one of the perks of growing up in Southern California. There was Matthew Perry, aka Chandler Bing, wearing (I’ll never forget) a white leather letterman’s-style jacket, holding court in the middle of an entourage of 6-8 friends, with a glow and a swagger that showed he was on top of the world. The guy oozed charisma.
We headed over to the Haunted Mansion. Matthew and group probably entered through some VIP back door without waiting in line because suddenly, we were all in the “stretching room”–our group, his group, and a few other people who probably didn’t love the show FRIENDS as much as I did. I can only assume.
Yes, I stared. This was a big deal. I have a faint memory of catching his eye and a hopeful, selective memory that there was a small grin returned only for me, but it could just be my imagination. I don’t care. It was dang cool. After the ride we only saw the backs of him and his group. Moment over, but not forgotten.
Some shows are just a part of us. FRIENDS is one of those shows for me. It started right as I earned my college degree, saw me through getting my first apartment, my first “real job,” and all of those milestones that make you feel grown up (except getting married, that came later.)
Of course we knew that, of all the cast members, Matthew Perry was the one struggling the most. We just didn’t know how much. Fast forward 20+ years to last Monday, when my husband and I watched his interview with Diane Sawyer. He’s uber famous, uber wealthy, starred in one of the most beloved shows of all time, and my first thought was, “He seems like a really lonely guy.” The swagger and smirk I saw in 1995 was replaced with a man slightly older than me, but wearing decades of trauma on his face.
I had to read the book. What a life. What an exhausting, sad, tortured, lonely life. I’ve never really understood addiction, but this is probably the closest I’ll ever get. His memoir is that raw. And it is heartbreaking. As a highly sensitive empath, I absorb other people’s pain more than most, and I felt like I was right there with every relapse of drinking and pills and their accompanying horrific consequences. This book is both fascinating and painful. Never once does he play the victim.
If you’ve been on the FRIENDS journey at all since its inception, read about Matthew’s journey and see what he went through. It’s a miracle he’s even still alive. And it’s a lesson of where fulfillment can truly be found. Hint: it isn’t fame and fortune. 9/10 Stars
“As a Deaf person, I came from a beautiful and unique heritage that included a multilayered culture, a visual language, and a wealth of stories.”
I cannot remember the last time, if ever, that I learned so much from a memoir. Nyle DiMarco’s Deaf Utopia should be required reading for everyone.
Nyle DiMarco won hearts by winning both America’s Next Top Model and Dancing With the Stars, breaking barriers and bringing awareness to a beautiful silent world that many of us, myself included, don’t think about much. Part of a multi-generational Deaf family, this love letter to Deaf culture is sometimes joyful and, at other times, heart-breaking.
The writing is exquisite. I learned about the frustratingly slow evolution of allowing Deaf students to use American Sign Language, as opposed to forcing speech and oral education, in schools for the Deaf. I learned about the Milan Conference, a group of decision makers in the 1800s who made crucial choices about educating Deaf children when only one of the members was Deaf himself. I learned about Alexander Graham Bell, who has always been heralded as a pioneer, and his belief that if Deaf couples didn’t marry and procreate, the “deaf gene” would eventually be “bred out” of the human race.
As an elementary school teacher, I firmly agree with DiMarco’s statement “Kids need a language rich environment for their brains to acquire the rhythm and pattern of language.” It seems so basic, and this is why we sing a lot of songs in kindergarten about numbers, the days of the week, the months of the year, etc. It is why, even when I taught fifth grade, I still set aside at least half an hour a day for “story time,” where I read to my students and tried to exemplify a love of words and language.
In a school for the Deaf, this love is best conveyed through their native language, ASL, which DiMarco describes as “…something uniquely ours, a beautiful creation made with Deaf minds, hands, and bodies. When we use it, we feel truly content, truly ourselves.” Which makes the decades of systemic resistance to using it even more shocking. The more Deaf children have access to ASL-rich classrooms, the more they thrive and learn a variety of subjects. When the emphasis is all about speech and lip-reading, gaps can form in the child’s education. His family has members across the spectrum with all these experiences. The consequences, both good and bad, last a lifetime.
Discussing the book would not be complete without mentioning Nyle DiMarco’s amazing mother, Donna, who is also Deaf, and raised her three Deaf sons pretty much single-handedly. The way she fought for them, advocated for their education, nurtured them, and supported them is nothing short of heroic. If there was a school that was better, they moved there. If there was unfairness in the system, she challenged it. All of her sons are graduates of the prestigious Gallaudet University. Seriously, this lady deserves her own biography.
This book is revelatory. It is also fun and anecdotal. There’s mischief, love, setbacks, and creative solutions on nearly every page. I recommend it highly. Like with any culture, the only way to understand it better is to learn about it. I was honored to learn about Deaf culture, which is larger than we realize and has much to teach us.
10/10 Stars
May 8, 2022 video addition:There are lots of videos of Nyle DiMarco modeling, dancing, and being interviewed. But if you read this book you’ll learn that the foundation for all of his success was early language acquisition. (Not speech, but LANGUAGE. There’s a difference.) He’s very passionate about it. (I agree!) In that respect, I think these two videos are the best ones to post here.
“I’m not sure what God is going to do with my life, but I know that there are good things in store and that He has a purpose for me.”
I first heard about Scott Smiley a few weeks ago. He was a guest speaker at an event hosted by a state congressional candidate I follow on Facebook. I had no idea who he was and what made him so inspiring. As I learned more about him and his story, I was reminded how backwards this world is, in that so many famous people have done very little for others, basking in the light of their own glory, while those who truly deserve our attention are often relegated to smaller venues.
One of seven children, a West Point graduate who married his high school sweetheart, Tiffany, Scotty Smiley’s life dramatically changed on April 6, 2005. While leading a 40-man platoon in Iraq charged with finding car bombs stationed throughout a residential area, Smiley confronted a suicide bomber at the moment of detonation. At that instant his world went black. He was blinded and partially paralyzed.
This book tells of Captain Smiley’s journey from that day to recovery, rehabilitation, and finding a new purpose in life. Make no mistake, this man had his gloomy days–lots of them–despite being blessed with an incredible support system of family and friends. Going from an independent, highly motivated Army officer to a man who could get lost walking in a parking lot was a huge blow. It challenged his sense of self and his lifelong faith down to their very cores.
Certainly, his story is one like many veterans who return home with physical and emotional scars that can last a lifetime. Living in a country that hasn’t seen war on its own soil for such a long time can make us feel distanced from the sacrifices made on a daily basis by people who dedicate their lives to preserving freedom for ourselves and others. No doubt, his story, faith, and determination are worthy of 10 stars. As a piece of writing I do wish it was more linear with less detours. There were several, although it may be the style of his coauthor. But overall, Scotty Smiley does make you want to try harder and be better, remembering that through God, all things are possible.
Do you ever finish a book and sit in awe at the beauty you’ve just witnessed? That is how I feel having just completed Val Kilmer’s autobiography. It is, hands down, the best memoir I’ve ever read.
If you’ve ever seen him as Doc Holliday in Tombstone (the greatest modern western EVER) or his embodiment of Jim Morrison in The Doors, you know that Val Kilmer is a dynamic force onscreen, able to morph into a character while he, himself, disappears. Like his idol and mentor, Marlon Brando, he purposefully chose parts that were difficult. If you’re not constantly challenging yourself, what’s the point?
Then his greatest tool, his voice, was cruelly taken away by throat cancer and its subsequent treatments. The swagger is gone too, replaced by introspection and humility. Why do the great ones lose what’s most important to their work? It seems so unfair. I was reminded of Beethoven losing his hearing and Renoir’s hands crippled by arthritis. Except a true artist will carry on, as exemplified here.
This is a brilliant man who peppers his book with words like equanimity, quixotic, autodidact, and digestif. Thank goodness for the Kindle dictionary link. But not once do you feel you are being talked down to, instead, you’re being elevated and forced to challenge yourself as well. And the profanity that often slithers into celebrity autobiographies? There is none. A wordsmith like Val has no use for curse words in telling his story. They are for the lazy.
Connections to people, nature, and art in all its forms constantly propel him. I loved learning about his devotion to Mark Twain’s writings, his Christian Science faith, and his adoration for his children, Mercedes and Jack. I’ve seen them interviewed and the feeling is clearly mutual. He’s worked hard not to repeat the tenuous relationship he had with his own father.
I can understand why this book was a bestseller. It isn’t just because he starred in several blockbusters. People may buy it for that reason, but they will read it and recommend it for another. It is masterful. Just because his voice is gone, does not mean Kilmer will be silenced. Stay strong, Val. We can still hear you.
If you grew up in the 1970s and 80s, you will remember a specific group of comedians that rose to fame during that time. There was the unparalleled original Saturday Night Live cast and there were those who worked from a different direction, like Robin Williams, Andy Kaufman, and Steve Martin to name a few.
The older I get, the more I appreciate Steve Martin’s brand of comedy, which has also matured. His depth and brilliance is equally apparent when he takes on serious film roles. If you’ve never seen him in The Spanish Prisoner, see it. Recently I watched Shopgirl for the first time, with a screenplay written by Steve Martin based on his novella of the same name. These are worthwhile departures from his earlier films and he surrounds himself with cerebral, high quality actors in both.
I knew Steve Martin was originally from Waco, Texas. I knew he once worked in the magic shop at Disneyland. I knew he played the banjo with great proficiency. I knew it was a delight and an honor to see him perform live twice with the Steep Canyon Rangers (in Los Angeles and Eugene, Oregon.) But I knew nothing about his childhood and the years of paying his dues.
Like many comedians, Steve Martin’s humor was born out of pathos and melancholy, partly innate and partly inflicted upon him by others. His mother was his shining light while his father was critical, moody, and envious. Success brought other demons, as it often does.
In a brief two hundred pages and with a deft, fluid style, we travel in that time machine called memory back to simpler decades when a young boy and then young man sought escapism and validation through performing. Never delving much into his personal life except when it intersected with his career, Martin confirms his status as one at the top of his profession. He is a student of the science of comedy, always working to refine, improve, and evolve his technique. In a time where modern celebrities are often famous because of their lifestyles, it was refreshing to read about someone whose success came because of tenacity and a doggedly determined work ethic. In this ever-increasingly serious world, we need people like this.
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